This comes from one day a school student realized there simply is not enough way, not enough power to change a problem that plagued him since childhood. Perhaps he did not have teachers to blame and wanted to "justify" what is unjustifiable: uncontrolable noises leading ti autistic noise suffering and non-pleasurableness!
I have investigated this for so long, yet in this eternal doom, I
have found no solution.
It will be a prickly prodigious problem until I leave school.
It’s my desire to be quiet versus
the others’ desire to speak even over the teacher to foster “human
connection”, and to avoid loneliness, pain and suppression.
However, if I hear something, it naturally diverts my attention away
from the teacher to the source of the noise.
I can only endure it to a limited extent before it starts
psychologically hurting my brain.
Even with my mental fortitude, dealing with it for six hours per day is
surprisingly difficult.
The biggest problem here is that there’s no solution that doesn’t create
more problems:
Get rid of the cause of the noise: Of course I can’t murder my
classmates, or cut their larynxes off, I would end up in jail
Drop all my subjects and self-study: I might not be able to and I might
not know how to learn those subjects perfectly
Wear earphones: It doesn’t reduce unwanted noise fully, and it also
suppresses the teachers’ noise, makes me look lazy, and some teachers
hate it. (if an exception was made for me, others would naturally also
complain which would likely lead to more chaos and trouble. Plus high
end ones are too expensive. I don’t want to pay to solve problems others
cause.
Destroy my ears: I don’t want to lose my hearing totally, it would make
life more troublesome.
Change seat: The
classroom is a closed space with echo, impact negligible, plus most
teachers reject self-made seat changes.
Unlike other things, silence cannot really be created… unless everyone
co-operates and there is bound to be at least one breaker of it. (Some
other things that only work if everyone does it include lining up, side
of lane to drive, and which side is going up/going down in stairs)
Why this type of noise is the most unpleasant: It ruins my focus as
it’s hard to suppress only the students’ noises without suppressing the
teachers’, it causes teachers to scold repetitively, it’s variable
(sometimes quiet, sometimes noisy) which actually messes with the my brain’s hedonic
adaptation capabilities, and it’s chaotic as the brain cannot comprehend anything
useful from the noise which ruins the purpose of communication. It’s not that
I can’t hear, it’s that it’s painful.
Thus, I just painfully and stoically endure this barrage of hell’s wrath
from foul mouths. Every day. I am surviving not because of my
classmates, but despite them.
Thus I mainly learn by myself after school. Which kills the point of school in the first place. Yay.