Not feeling anything. Where you feel little joy from what you used to enjoy.
When so bad at a certain point, just so used to it.
"I used to think it affects good things too (makes bad seem even
worse in comparison) and is dangerous to see compared to bad things.
Paradoxical me.
Learned helplessness - where I don't
feel anything because I have seen so much worse.
At least I try to. Without socializing, there is barely any joy. It is a
waste to suffer the consequences of negative emotions (e.g., teacher
chaos), thus I try to suppress them. It depends on which one costs less
energy or consequences.
I don't feel anything. Perhaps it's already rigged from the start. Is it
acceptance,
or is it biological adaptation? I don't know! I'm a mere student!
I feel bored. I feel sometimes, my freedom is restricted! Even if the teachers are
good! Power imbalance leads to either being mad or accepting that one is
pretty powerless to overrule authority."
It leads to more neutrality or logicalness, because, in reality, it's like detachment in a way.
In reality, unlike detachment, it's not an intentional decision, and you may be reliant on pleasure, so it might be scary. You might feel weirdness, like one time I felt like my taste buds were weakening because eating didn't please me anymore. (However, it could also be due to repetitiveness)
Is it a result of maturity? Maybe
Is it a result of a stoic? Maybe
Stuff in life no longer entertains me, or pleases me much in any way…
(Schopenhauerism or Asceticism)
But it also means, theoretically, if I embrace and accept this strongly, I can work
without getting interrupted by the desire for pleasure, because I know
it isn’t there…
And it can also be good, as it can make me less manipulated by
unnecessary external rewards…
For it can be that I take almost everything pragmatically, or as a
logical factuality, not associating feelings with them.