1. Others not treating me less than what I am: a human with some freedom, the desire
to survive, the desire for connection (even if less than successful),
and the will to do what feels important to me
2. Others not doing intentional, pure evil to me when in their control (eg. homework is
clearly evil, but
because every school does it and it is done to every student, it’s
not targeted specifically at me.)
3. Others letting me have some freedom, not caring about most of the things I do
(actually good, I used to think that was apathy, now I know it’s
normal!)
4. Others enduring my young self, who had to endure his own philosophical thoughts too mature for his
current brain,
leading to being emotionally unstable due to lack of maturity, and
having to do such a tiresome thing obnoxiously for so long.
5. Others not actually possessing a feeling of strong hatred towards me
(from what I see), even though my past self clearly was a cause of pain,
and a real burden to calm down.
(other than that one kid who doesn’t understand what Satanism is, which is fair; the
name signals what it isn’t and within a Christian school… disasters of mentioning it
await.)
6. Others at least have the desire to try to understand me (a social
outlier) a little bit, even if the thoughts I say take a long time or
are hard to understand for secondary school students and might lead to misunderstandings.
For instance, being likeSchopenhauer, stoic, and nihilistic might signal clinical depression,
though I don’t have it!
7. I’ve improved so far over the passage of time that I’ve basically
murdered the bad parts of my past self. Indeed, it is quite peaceful,
and I’m grateful that humans can improve through failure and maturity.
It’s the definition of metanoia, meaning changing mind/life, and I have
disproved my past belief of fatalism(though in my school it’s a past student council
which has failed and is being remembered for its failures…??? … .
whatever.)
8. I know how to do things in the education system properly
now, know the methods to overcome public examination systems and to deal
with boredom properly; as a senior form student, I think I’m indeed
quite ready (though not excited, just accepting it for what it is) for
the remaining year of secondary school.
9. My parents at least have enough money for me to have food, and use the computer a lot,
and survive, and thus my chance of survival is at least highly stable
for now.
10. Despite all the trouble my past self did, though I could not explain
myself, perhaps others actually could see a little bit that, as I might
be a victim of the circumstances of society (for instance, school basically being slavery with
zero pay), I rarely got into big trouble for my irrational actions and
outbursts.
11. My past self physically no longer exists. Thus I won’t have to feel
the pain of my past self.