This is where you match activities or behaviors to societal norms. Society pretty much
obeys specific ideas, and even though it is implicit, it is hard to
understand for some people and easy for others. This can be based on Darwinism or
based on Pragmatism.
Sometimes, this is great! Psychologically, lining up is one of the
things that only works if everyone obeys it.
However, sometimes it makes no sense, like the need to wear ties to look
“professional”: It’s literally just a piece of fabric that strangles the
neck, and also ironically is very hard to wear. Yet, it has to be done!
Outliers sometimes get seen as weirdos.
We tend to love things others do, and hate things others hate (but not
always).
Sometimes I go insane just because the group is doing something I find insane, even if I know it's insane! The biological urge to conform is a very low level thing. Sometimes it makes me noisy when others are noisy, or make me go crazy when others are being silly. I know conformity is a thing yet even when I have the choice rarely do I sucessfully avoid it and resist caring aobut them.
Though humans don't need to conform much to live anymore they feel a primal loneliness.
Most aren't conformists, but most end up doing so despite not wanting to, and it's a disease to make sure that nothing non- can occur without consequences. What a tragedy for the neurodivergent man.
Because most people socialize, and they need to fit in! Otherwise, there may be serious consequences, at least to their .
Thus, "just be yourself" becomes a big fat pragmatic lie. This is because if you did whatever you want, for instance, in a job interview, clearly the interviewer would throw the idea of employing you out of the window.
Maybe hide social media metrics, e.g. views, or avoid using it as a way to determine the goodness of a video, and perhaps steer away from the comments section.
One may hate hustle culture, without admitting it, yet it's become somewhat normal, even to the point of going into past paper drilling in the upper forms of the secondary school education system. The need to fit in or achieve merit rejects human mind-wandering.
Another one: I like speaking English, but many others here speak
Chinese. Even though Hong Kong is technically legally bilingual, it’s
the “norm” to speak Chinese, especially since it's part of China, yet I
don’t like it. Yet again, I do it out of necessity sometimes because
some of the population may not even know English!. This is even though I
was raised in English primary and secondary schools, and almost always
went on the English Internet (content is more diverse, I think).
As a result of determinism, by nurture, I became specialized in
English. I have a slight fear that some places will not accept me, like the Chinese
University of Hong Kong! Still, this is better than some cases where you
cannot simply speak the second language at all, because I still have
basic vocabulary to communicate in daily .
Humans naturally want full freedom. However, some activities require being in groups (like group sports, which I heard brings about pleasure to some), which naturally restricts freedom. The conflict becomes: how much individuality are you willing to sacrifice to society? For me, in the most practical sense: if I were to get a job, at least enough to not get me fired! Because money is for food, which is for survival. However, this is the bare minimum. In reality, I might go higher than that.
A famous phrase is that you tend to become the average of your circle
of friends. Or heck, the people you are with in general. Most of the
time, this is fine, as people generally adapt their behaviors to fit the
situation, so if you are younger, you can somewhat learn from them too.
Rather, I think this is an unconscious habit of the mind that is done
even when we are not aware.
However, sometimes this can be a curse. I remember that there were loud
"gangs" in school,
or even bullies. I theorize it's human of fitting in that is
compromising common sense!
Choose your friends wisely. Friends are usually . But they may be for
you, and your brain
may be tricked by the entropy, resulting in high ! If at all. If most of
the school does not
fit your ideals... so be it.
If you wish to reframe: They are targets for you to observe, and you
only need to bother them at your own will (or, unfortunately, when
teachers coerce you to do group projects).
Be careful! You should try to balance your physiological needs to have
connections versus the psychological effects they have on you. Solitude
is also pretty fine, too, if you do it intentionally and it suits your
style. Regardless, it will be a pretty interesting exercise, and if it
goes according to plan, it will most likely be beneficial to your
mind.
Things that are holding it back are mostly just school and work, if you really think about it. And also taxes. You do have the freedom to choose to be weird to society at the tradeoff of having fewer friends - I guess. Choose what matters most to you.